The first month has been a little hard. I stuck with it. I think that I am doing ok I believe I can be doing better!!!!! I did get dressed every day of Jan. The putting on makeup and doing hair is not going well I had a little trouble with the makeup. My skin has been giving me a lot of trouble I think as I am getting older my skin hates me lol.(I know that is not an excuse) I plan to do better in Feb I order all new makeup and skin care. Heres to hoping my skin will learn I am the boss lol. I am doing good with my weight loss journey so far. I know for myself that the first month is the easiest for me. The sticking with it is what kills me but what I think is different this time I know that I have to do this to show my little monsters a heathy lifestyle. I have always had trouble with emotional eating but this time I am learning it is ok to ask for help and say NO to things. My little monsters have been great at helping me out they are asking how I am doing and cheering me on. I know that is what is keeping me going.
With reading I am killing it. I read 4 books granted 3 were audio books because I am a very busy mom to 3 monsters. ( It still counts right) I listened to Rachael Hollis Girl, wash your face and Girl, Stop Apologizing. They were Amazing and very helpful I would recommend them to any and every women not to mention she is hilarious. I also listened to Stassi Schroeder’s Next Level Basic this book I don’t think I have ever laughed so hard with a book before. (Stassi if you ever read this by some crazy chance please keep writing I will buy everything you write) Please run to Target or wherever you buy your books from and get it. I promise you will thank me. The 1 book I did actually read was The Tattooist of Auschwitz by Heather Morris very good read I finished it in 4 days. I am currently reading the second one to this I will update you in next months recap. I have linked all the books if you would like to read.
My little monsters are living a fantasy world!!!!!!!! My little monsters have no idea!!! They think everything should be handed to them. I asked my oldest teenage monster to make his little brothers bed.(his brother is 7 and has special needs) He the proceeded to tell me that I don’t sleep in it why do I have to make it. I said “well I don’t dirty all the laundry and dishes but I still have to wash them” to which replayed “that is your job right” I could have spit nails this little monster has no idea what it is like and believe me we are trying to teach him how to be an adult. When he is told to do chores he always tells my husband and I we are awful parents because none of his friend have chores. Is this a thing? I have always had chores. My little monsters don’t have as many chores as I had at there age. The 14yr old monster has to clean 2 toilets and sweep a kitchen floor and keep room clean. When I was his age was cleaning the whole house. This little monster has no idea. So here is my question why do kids theses days think they don’t have to do chores or contribute in anyway to the house? Why do they think because there mom stays home I should be doing everything? We are creating lazy in-tilted monsters. I am worried about his age group as a whole!!!!
I started this year off like almost everyone I want to loose weight be a better person love more read more all of theses things. This year I made a hard resolution for myself believe me I know how easy this is going to sound to most people but when you are a stay at home mom this is hard to do. I made the resolution to get dressed do my makeup and hair everyday no matter what. Today I am 13 days 2 colds sick kids home flu going around and I have been doing it. Every day since Jan 1 2020 I dressed and I have done simply makeup and hair. I get that this seams easy and some are thinking OMG she is a lazy slob. when you are a stay at home mom and a 1 car family you can get into ruts last year most days I put my youngest monster on the bus in my pjs most days I had no reason to get dressed where was I going what was I doing. When I think back to last year this my be the reason why I was unhappy with myself. SO this year I made a promise to myself that I would take better care of myself. I wanted to do this for myself. My little monsters and husband have told me that they noticed a difference they said I seem happier!!!
I know this sound so cliché. This year I am choosing to do and be better!!!!!! I want to make small achievable goals because I have learned that when you make large unachievable goals you set yourself up to FAIL. This also sets you up to hate yourself!! I like everyone else want better. I want to be a better wife, mother to those amazing monsters, sister, and just to be a better ME because without choosing me I can’t be better at theses other things.
Our new family tradition was an amazing idea. The little monsters loved every second of it. They loved swimming on Christmas morning. My husband and I loved that we could stop and enjoy “our family time.” I loved that we had no expectations. I loved that I could enjoy watching my little monsters open there gifts and enjoy without having to go anywhere. We enjoyed that there was no rushing around anywhere. The little monsters loved that there didn’t have to get all dressed up. I loved that I didn’t have to play fake nice. I loved that I didn’t have to rush around anywhere. I know that the holiday season is about being with family but when did it become a game of playing fake nice and who’s kids are better or who spent the most money? I enjoy my family most of the time but I just wanted to enjoy my holiday with “my family” is that wrong? Why and when did family time become like having a job? My husband and I agreed that this will be something we do as a new tradition.
This year our family made a choice to have our holiday in a hotel. My husband and I talked about this for a long time before we decided. My husband works very hard all year and does not spend very much time with us. Our 2 oldest monster are from my previous relationship that we have to split our holidays with their dad. This year was our year so that made the choice that much easier. We wanted to have a family holiday uninterrupted. Don’t get me wrong we love our family but we also wanted to be a little selfish and spend time with just us and our little monsters. When we talked to the little monsters they love the idea. The little monster were very excited to plan everything from where we were going to stay to what we were going to do. Watching them get so excited about getting to have time with us and daddy not working is worth every penny and all the crap family has given us. To be continued!!!!!!!!!!
I finished my Christmas shopping for my family about a week ago. I have wrapped it all. I feel very accomplished this year because in the past I was the person who braved the stores on Christmas Eve. I was very excited this year I had the kids do the lists early I started shopping but this year I feel very disconnected I feel like something is missing. I feel like the last min shopping and wrapping is a tradition. I enjoy everything about Christmas mostly because when I was little I never had a good Christmas and as a mother and wife I personally get to make sure they have an amazing Christmas The gift giving and shopping is the best part to me because even know Santa gets most of the credit I get to see there smiling faces and the pure joy they get from getting that one gift they wanted most. I think it means that much more to me because I never got to feel that joy.
I am going to first say my family lives in the New England area!!! We have very cold unpredictable winters. My teenager Monster refuse to wear winter jackets it drives me nuts. My oldest Monster has even tried many times to wear shorts. We had to set a rule that he is only aloud to wear shorts on days it will be over 65 degrees. I asked my teenage Monster to please try on the jackets that I did buy to see if they still fit. they both told me “why we don’t wear them” I said ok do you need new hats a gloves. They both said “for what!” I could just scream I know that this is a teenage thing because I see all there friends doing the same things. All I could think about was them getting sick. This drives me insane. Am I the only Monster keeper who gets so frustrated with her teenagers about this? How do you get them to wear their winter coats? How long will this last?
How can you sit in the same room with your husband and feel like he doesn’t even see you? I know that my husband loves me but I feel like with everything going on with our monsters and work we forget. I feel like after you get married and the honeymoon period you can get all caught up in everything and forget to look at each other and really see the other person. I think you forget to put your marriage first sometimes. I just wonder how long can this go on before you forget all together? I know that being married is like having a job and you always have to work at it but how long can you work alone? I think husbands just assume that the wife should always be doing the work. Marriage is a 2 person job! How do you tell your husband he needs to put in the work too and having it come from a loving place? I love my husband very much but I am getting tired of working alone I just don’t see the point.
The first thing I have learned is my son is not different or normal he is himself. I hate when people say normal or different. I learned that my son is the strongest person I know. Some days I wonder where he gets it because he deals with more then most kids his age. He lives with pain everyday and hardly ever complains. We have more bad then good days. My son has something that no one else has he is undiagnosed. We live in a land of GRAY we call it because we don’t know day to day what we are dealing with. Example he can be playing fine having a great time and an hour later have a temp of 105 and be throwing up or having trouble breathing. Both of which have happened more times then I can count. I have to plan outings we can never do a spear of the moment things. We have to plan and pack because we never know. (Pack meaning extra GTUBE because that is his lifeline,meds,tube machine,extra bag,formula,water, sensory bag, food thickened and drinks there is a lot more). There are days when I feel so alone because no one really understands what you are dealing with. My husband is like any other man it is what it is. (I hate that line nothing drives me more nuts) Sometimes I think to myself are there other moms out there dealing with the same things? Because I want them to know they are not alone and you are doing an amazing job. Here are some pictures of our good and bad days.