Sorry I have been a little MIA I have been reflecting on everything going on in the world. I have also been very busy with my new career as a “teacher” homeschool is no joke I am really struggling with it. So here is the thing I never wanted to be a teacher and I got thrown in to this I am so lost. The school district choses to use something new the teachers and students don’t understand it. The parents are thrown to the wolves to pick up the pieces and figure it out all well hoping their child is still learning and not falling behind anymore than they already have. I am very concerned about how far behind my child really is. I am scared of the last effects this will have on these children. How will the social skills be effected? Will they have trouble when everything gets back to “normal” not really sure it will ever go back. How can these kids interact with others when they have been sheltered and only talking to friends and family VIA zoom calls? Will we recover for this? I do have some good things that have happened we are closer as a family we are way more connected. I can also now put “Teacher” on my resume.
This year is going to be very different. My oldest and youngest monsters will be doing homeschool or distance learning and my middle monster will be attending school. Where we live they gave us the option to do in person or online. My husband and I decided that because our oldest and youngest monsters attend public school they will be doing online the middle monster is staring at a new private school so she will be attending in person. We decided that because the private school had a way better plan for in person that she will go. The public school doesn’t have a good plan to keep my monsters safe in my opinion. We are very nervous with everything going on the school has not set up a good plan don’t get me wrong I understand that in these times it is harder to have a good safe plan but I will never put my monsters at risk.
Today we went to our middle monsters back to school orientation. I think that in this time and how things are now is so sad. I watched my middle monster interact with her new peers and teachers with a mask on and 6 feet apart for a child who strives on social interaction I could see that she felt so different and a little sad. In this season of her life of start of high school should be a happy fun experience but no not ever close yes we are making to best of the situation.
I never really understood when people said lifestyle change what that meant but I have learned that can mean just about anything to anyone. My lifestyle change came about when my daughter said “mom can we go out and practice for softball? No never mind I know you can’t do that” I saw the look on her face of disappointment and I knew something had to change. That day changed everything for me I started slow and I am slowly becoming the mother my monster deserves and wants. I can tell you I have no problem going out to practice with her now she loves it. The looks I get now are way better. I see how much happier they are. I started by setting small achievable goals little by little I achieved them. I had set backs but I didn’t let that stop me. When I achieved my first big goal I could not believe it I was so excited. My monster’s have been amazing cheering me on walking and jogging right next to me telling me to keep going. These little monsters call me out when I am slacking off or if they see me eat something bad I love that they hold me accountable. I am very blessed I think they are enjoying their new mom.
I wanted to review somethings that I have been using with my new “Lifestyle change” (I say that because I hate the word diet) I never liked milk but I always needed it in my coffee I drink black coffee now but when I want “real coffee” I use Nutpod can I just say I can’t tell the difference. Nutpod is a coconut almond milk base with very low calories and no sugar. I also have been liking sparkling water any brand any kind I love them all lol. I was never really a soda drinker but plain water gets old fast. This is not really a review but I learned that I love Brussel sprouts lets just be honest for a minute everyone thinks they hate Brussel sprouts I am here to say they are amazing. I really love all veggies.
My husband and I had a vacation planned with my brother-in-law to go to Atlantic City but with everything going on we decided to postpone. I was really looking forward to getting away because who doesn’t need a vacation. The best part of this vacation we were only going to have one monster because lets be honest I never go to far without my littlest monster for many reasons. My husband and I talked about getting away somewhere close because he already had the time off and why not. We found a hotel close but not to close. I can tell you that Vacation has become way more of a hastle than I could have ever imagined. We wear mask and sanitize. The hastle is what is open what can we do were can we go. Checking in to the hotel has even changed this whole pandemic has made everything so impersonal. when we checked into the hotel there is glass and ropes sign in over there “please don’t get close” “please don’t touch” “use the clean pen” I hate all this Impersonal bull Sh**. I hate that people are so scared to get close or even talk to people. I really hope this Covid Bit** learns her place and goes the hell away. Here are some pictures from our trip
I say month unknown because of this covid Bit** I don’t know what day it is sometimes. I have been doing OK. I am losing weight still eating healthy, exercising. I get dressed everyday but not so good with the hair and makeup everyday. Ok so now on to the reading part I am not doing as good with that but I am reading not as much. I am working to get back to 2 books a month.
These past couple of months have taught me some amazing things. I am way stronger then I could have ever imagined!!!! I also sadly learned that even during a pandemic you can learn who is truly there for you. I learned that family sucks. I also became even closer to my sisters. I really enjoyed getting to know them again. I am also working on making my marriage better. My husband and I are enjoying getting to know each other again. I ordered a “one question a day for you and me” book we are having a lot of fun filling that out. I am learning new things about him. The more I learn the more I love.
As Pride month is coming to an end I wanted to write about what pride month means to me as a mom to a gay son. I am happy that the country is coming around and there are so many more people who understand. My hope is that someday for my sons sake all this will not matter and know one will ever question my son for wanting to marry a man. I think it is crazy that people question people’s choice to marry the same sex when know one ever question why I wanted to marry my husband!!! I have never ever once treated someone different because they are different then me. My husband and I are raising are children on that same way. My hope is that one day there will be no more hate in the world. I know that that is a lot to hope for in a world filled with so much hate but I think with some education and more people standing up for others maybe my amazing children can change the world. I am hopeful that every year we will get closer. So from one proud mom to a world of hate come around it takes way more energy to hate than to LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!
We are in this for the long hall school is now home school for the rest of the school year. Everything is changing and becoming the new normal face mask to got out, food shopping online curb side pick up to eat out, missing family events and huge milestones. The new normal of feeling isolated and alone. I am worried about what this is doing to people and their mental health. I see family on video chat and worry are they ok. I am worried about my middle monster who thrives in social aspects of life. I see her talk to her friend and talk about how things used to be I see her missing things like 8th grade graduation, dances, birthday party, movies mall trips, softball, and end of year trips with friends. I am worried about what the is doing to her self-esteem. I am worried will this have a lasting effect on her.
The 2 oldest Monsters are from a young stupid relationship. (Which I would not trade for anything in the world because that stupid relationship gave me my 2 amazing monsters just to be clear) I have been working and fighting to have a good co-parenting relationship with their dad. Over the last 15yrs I have let a lot go and have been dealing with way more then I should have (I am not going to go in to detail because I don’t want my kids to get hurt if they ever read this) but I don’t ever want my Monsters to say you didn’t try. This past weekend I asked him to step up and take them more and spend more time with his kids he said I know. I asked him to take them all of next weekend his wife said Saturday is the only day we get to spend with each other. My question is how do I get him to spend more time with his kids? How do I do what is best for my little monsters? what is best for my little monsters in this situation? Why don’t they write a hand book on Co-Parenting with an ex that could give two shits?
Today started like any other day with some unknown things to happen we had a scheduled Dr visit for my littlest Monster. (His Dr visit in a children’s hospital because of his complex medical history) How do you plan for a Dr visit during a pandemic? I started with packing his emergency overnight bag (just incase) when we schedule this Visit we were told to wear a mask and only one parent would be allowed in. The drive to the hospital normally takes up to 2 hrs depending on time of day or traffic. This drive took only 45 mins. When we arrived we had to do a pre arrival screening at the door then 3 more at check points. (LOL) I was asked the same 4 questions 4 time I understand why but it seams a little excessive. When we finally made it to the floor were the Dr office is we did our pre visit hight and weight then put right into a room right away. We were the only ones in the office which is a very different experience in itself. This is a very busy hospital on regular days the office is normally very busy too. On other visit we have had to wait for up to an hour to see the nurse then even longer to see the Dr. This whole experience was a crazy one to see a normally very busy hospital with hundreds of people rushing through at any given time of the day so slow is just scary because this is what we have come to with this pandemic. I wonder will we ever get back to the hustle of life will things ever but that busy again? Will we always be wearing masks and go through per visit screenings? My littlest Monster commented on them lack of people too he even made me take some pictures to show his dad “how crazy this is” his words. I am going to leave the pictures
I will start this by saying I understand 100% why they canceled school for 3 weeks and as a mom to a child that is Immune Compromised I am grateful. I have a question what am I going to do with these Little Monsters who thrive in structure? I can keep there day structured like school but can I really? I say can I really because I am their mom not there teacher. The authority that comes with being the teacher I don’t have. I know that because trying to get these Little Monster to do the virtual work our district set up is like chasing an over tired toddler that lost their “blankie.” I will tell you I have way more appreciation for my Little Monsters teachers I also think they need to pay them as much as an NFL QB gets payed if not more!!!!!
This First week has been crazy!!!! The kids don’t know what to do with themselves. I know that when the iPads and xbox’s become boring we have a problem. I have been trying to keep them busy with school work, outside play, and other activities. I have cleaned, organized, baked, cooked, and meal prepped everything that I can. I am going crazy!!!!!!!
Week 2 we are finally getting used to this. The little Monster are adapting to the new school routine. I gave my first spelling test this week lol. I do have some concerns about how this is going to effect my little monsters down the road. I am worried about them falling behind even with the online work. I am also worried about social skills. I know that we have to do this social distancing to maintain our health I just feel so trapped! I am going stair crazy. I know that there are people way worse off than me. With all that said we accomplished a lot this week 2 lego projects countless art pages, way to many heated games of Monopoly and Mancala, tons of family time. I have learned a lot this past week I have way more patients. Our family has become closer as a whole social distancing is slowly helping our family get to know each other more. My little Monsters are becoming better Monster so what more could you ask for lol!!!! I have added some pictures from the first 2 weeks