I would like to talk for a minute about Mom Guilt!!! I have Mom guilt for all kinds of reasons but I was talking to my sister this weekend and she was telling me that she has been having a lot of mom guilt when she leaves her kids with someone. That made me stop and think why do so many people put moms down for wanting time away from our children. I personally am trying to put myself first a little more this year with everything going on I really think it is important to make time for yourself. I think that with putting myself first I can become a better mom and wife. I 100% believe in self care. I don’t believe that you should never feel guilty. Do your little monsters or significant other feel guilty when they put themselves first? Do single people feel guilty? NO so why should you? I am working on getting my sister on the self care mantra. I think that we need to stop MOM SHAMING. Being a mom is hard enough without the MOM SHAMING.
This year is going to be very different. My oldest and youngest monsters will be doing homeschool or distance learning and my middle monster will be attending school. Where we live they gave us the option to do in person or online. My husband and I decided that because our oldest and youngest monsters attend public school they will be doing online the middle monster is staring at a new private school so she will be attending in person. We decided that because the private school had a way better plan for in person that she will go. The public school doesn’t have a good plan to keep my monsters safe in my opinion. We are very nervous with everything going on the school has not set up a good plan don’t get me wrong I understand that in these times it is harder to have a good safe plan but I will never put my monsters at risk.
Today we went to our middle monsters back to school orientation. I think that in this time and how things are now is so sad. I watched my middle monster interact with her new peers and teachers with a mask on and 6 feet apart for a child who strives on social interaction I could see that she felt so different and a little sad. In this season of her life of start of high school should be a happy fun experience but no not ever close yes we are making to best of the situation.
I never really understood when people said lifestyle change what that meant but I have learned that can mean just about anything to anyone. My lifestyle change came about when my daughter said “mom can we go out and practice for softball? No never mind I know you can’t do that” I saw the look on her face of disappointment and I knew something had to change. That day changed everything for me I started slow and I am slowly becoming the mother my monster deserves and wants. I can tell you I have no problem going out to practice with her now she loves it. The looks I get now are way better. I see how much happier they are. I started by setting small achievable goals little by little I achieved them. I had set backs but I didn’t let that stop me. When I achieved my first big goal I could not believe it I was so excited. My monster’s have been amazing cheering me on walking and jogging right next to me telling me to keep going. These little monsters call me out when I am slacking off or if they see me eat something bad I love that they hold me accountable. I am very blessed I think they are enjoying their new mom.
I wanted to review somethings that I have been using with my new “Lifestyle change” (I say that because I hate the word diet) I never liked milk but I always needed it in my coffee I drink black coffee now but when I want “real coffee” I use Nutpod can I just say I can’t tell the difference. Nutpod is a coconut almond milk base with very low calories and no sugar. I also have been liking sparkling water any brand any kind I love them all lol. I was never really a soda drinker but plain water gets old fast. This is not really a review but I learned that I love Brussel sprouts lets just be honest for a minute everyone thinks they hate Brussel sprouts I am here to say they are amazing. I really love all veggies.
My husband and I had a vacation planned with my brother-in-law to go to Atlantic City but with everything going on we decided to postpone. I was really looking forward to getting away because who doesn’t need a vacation. The best part of this vacation we were only going to have one monster because lets be honest I never go to far without my littlest monster for many reasons. My husband and I talked about getting away somewhere close because he already had the time off and why not. We found a hotel close but not to close. I can tell you that Vacation has become way more of a hastle than I could have ever imagined. We wear mask and sanitize. The hastle is what is open what can we do were can we go. Checking in to the hotel has even changed this whole pandemic has made everything so impersonal. when we checked into the hotel there is glass and ropes sign in over there “please don’t get close” “please don’t touch” “use the clean pen” I hate all this Impersonal bull Sh**. I hate that people are so scared to get close or even talk to people. I really hope this Covid Bit** learns her place and goes the hell away. Here are some pictures from our trip
I say month unknown because of this covid Bit** I don’t know what day it is sometimes. I have been doing OK. I am losing weight still eating healthy, exercising. I get dressed everyday but not so good with the hair and makeup everyday. Ok so now on to the reading part I am not doing as good with that but I am reading not as much. I am working to get back to 2 books a month.
These past couple of months have taught me some amazing things. I am way stronger then I could have ever imagined!!!! I also sadly learned that even during a pandemic you can learn who is truly there for you. I learned that family sucks. I also became even closer to my sisters. I really enjoyed getting to know them again. I am also working on making my marriage better. My husband and I are enjoying getting to know each other again. I ordered a “one question a day for you and me” book we are having a lot of fun filling that out. I am learning new things about him. The more I learn the more I love.
We are in this for the long hall school is now home school for the rest of the school year. Everything is changing and becoming the new normal face mask to got out, food shopping online curb side pick up to eat out, missing family events and huge milestones. The new normal of feeling isolated and alone. I am worried about what this is doing to people and their mental health. I see family on video chat and worry are they ok. I am worried about my middle monster who thrives in social aspects of life. I see her talk to her friend and talk about how things used to be I see her missing things like 8th grade graduation, dances, birthday party, movies mall trips, softball, and end of year trips with friends. I am worried about what the is doing to her self-esteem. I am worried will this have a lasting effect on her.
This past week my little Monsters had school vacation. I hate these times of year because my Monster expect these big plans to happen. School vacation with 2 teenage Monsters and a 7yr old is not fun. I tried to plan things we could all do I get the “I don’t want to do that” why do we always do what she wants or he wants” I want to stay home and play my xbox” I tried to plan fun days. We had a little trouble in the beginning of the week. We had the flu make its way to our house. We also had a problem with the weather we live in a cold February climate. I planned a movie day which in itself is ridiculously expensive. But that is a topic for another post! These little Monster complained about which movie to see in the end my husband and 2 boys went to the movies my daughter and I went to the mall. What I learned for the next vacation is don’t plan anything. It is a good thing I love these little Monsters!!!!
The first month has been a little hard. I stuck with it. I think that I am doing ok I believe I can be doing better!!!!! I did get dressed every day of Jan. The putting on makeup and doing hair is not going well I had a little trouble with the makeup. My skin has been giving me a lot of trouble I think as I am getting older my skin hates me lol.(I know that is not an excuse) I plan to do better in Feb I order all new makeup and skin care. Heres to hoping my skin will learn I am the boss lol. I am doing good with my weight loss journey so far. I know for myself that the first month is the easiest for me. The sticking with it is what kills me but what I think is different this time I know that I have to do this to show my little monsters a heathy lifestyle. I have always had trouble with emotional eating but this time I am learning it is ok to ask for help and say NO to things. My little monsters have been great at helping me out they are asking how I am doing and cheering me on. I know that is what is keeping me going.
With reading I am killing it. I read 4 books granted 3 were audio books because I am a very busy mom to 3 monsters. ( It still counts right) I listened to Rachael Hollis Girl, wash your face and Girl, Stop Apologizing. They were Amazing and very helpful I would recommend them to any and every women not to mention she is hilarious. I also listened to Stassi Schroeder’s Next Level Basic this book I don’t think I have ever laughed so hard with a book before. (Stassi if you ever read this by some crazy chance please keep writing I will buy everything you write) Please run to Target or wherever you buy your books from and get it. I promise you will thank me. The 1 book I did actually read was The Tattooist of Auschwitz by Heather Morris very good read I finished it in 4 days. I am currently reading the second one to this I will update you in next months recap. I have linked all the books if you would like to read.
https://msrachelhollis.com. https://www.target.com/p/girl-stop-apologizing-by-rachel-hollis-hardcover/-/A-54100654. https://www.target.com/p/girl-wash-your-face-by-rachel-hollis-hardcover/-/A-52971788
My middle Monster has been working very hard to get into a private high school. Here is a little back story. She came to us and said “I want to do something” we said “ok” She then told us ” I want to got to a private high school” then presented us with all the information. She did all the research she found the school she wanted to go to. She looked up the application process, scholarship, finical aide, and everything else she needed. She then explained why she want to go to the school. She had a little presentation for us. She explained that she was not learning in her current School and didn’t think it would be any better at the local high school. She told us that she wanted to achieve something great and get in to a good collage she didn’t think the local high school could help her get there. (we don’t not have a problem with public school we have 2 other monsters in public school this is just how she felt) We then started the process of applying she wrote the essay we filled out at the paperwork explored the school and the curriculum, talked to teacher, students, and parents. My husband and I feel in love with the school. We finished everything and waited for what seemed like forever. We received the email SHE DID IT. She got ACCEPTED. She is going places she is a very good example of determination paying off!!!!!!!!!!